Expert Testimony

Archive [November 1998]

Rep. Barney Frank (D, MA), a member of the House Judiciary Committee, will once again take the center stage he loves in mid-November, when the Committee’s impeachment inquiry is slated to open. The proudly gay congressman is, of course, President Clinton’s best hope to get sand thrown in the gears throughout the proceedings.

By the same token, the impeachment hearings are Barney Frank’s best chance to become a household name. And he will, my friends; he will. His acerbic wit in the service of liberal obstruction will be a sight to behold. Taxpayer-funded performance art.

In its investigation into perjury, obstruction of justice, subornation of perjury, witness tampering, the Committee will be required to delve into salacious details — including the President’s definitions of the activities that took place in and around the Oval Bedroom. Thus, one of the prospects we have to look forward to is Barney Frank holding forth on oral sex.

You think I’m kidding? Last month, after the House voted to hold impeachment hearings, Frank showed reporters a bag of cigars. “At least no one is going to accuse me of using these to engage in heterosexual misconduct,” he said.

Someone should remind the congressman, that using Bill Clinton’s definition of sex … Barney Frank is still a virgin.